The couple I see
In the mirror angled
Just so
Reminds me of you and I
But as in some baroque phantasy
A hazy half remembered reverie
Of some dismal grey afternoon
It could be us
At some point in the past
Or maybe a tangential future
Or even right now
Just there
But though the faces I see
Resemble ours in every detail
And the bodies in motion
Seeking contact
Greater more intense unity
Are an accurate reflection
Of our writhing limbs
It is not us
For they have gone over
Broke on through to the other side
Into a pornotopia
Heard the call of the orgy
Answered panting and howling
Stepped into the circle naked
Submitted to the ritual
Endured the terrors of rebirth
Suckled on the sweetmeats
Of the pornocopia
Greedily drank
The darkest of red wines
Sated every sensation
Until asleep dream
Of daring new combinations
The wildest variations
Paroxysms of inventive carnality
Open your eyes
Do you see?
Come with me
Take me by the hand
Lets step on through
To meet our true selves.
Bold move but successful with the use of ‘pornocopia’ with ‘pornotopia’ and even more difficult ‘paroxysms’. Great poem!
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Thank you kindly. I know it is supposed to a sign of good writing to avoid fancy, long and difficult words but trouble is it is a rare fancy, long and difficult word that I don’t like. Ever the decadent, but if not bold might as well go home.
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That image is perfect. Very atmospheric- dismal grey afternoon- like today in fact. Sensual, beguiling and noticing. Good stuff Mr Cake!
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Thank you very much. Big words and atmosphere are really want I do best. No sure that is a good thing.
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Of course it is. And you’ve got the mastery of it.
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Now I just have to gain the mastery of form.
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Oh you are so modest.
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Much needed really.
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Why whatever do you mean? You needn’t be self deprecating, you are a wonderful poet.
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Thank you but I have to aim for always improving.
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Ah and I meant “enticing“ in my original comment, not “noticing“ … stupid autocorrect.
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It always is stupid!
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Stunning sensual imagery, I sensed the sexual tension in this and the desire to “break through” to the true self. Wonderful!
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Thank you very much. I like mirrors, so much more than mere reflective surfaces. Maybe on the other side is the true self and a place where nothing is true and everything is permitted.
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Oh this is so flawless!
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Thank you very much you are too kind.
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Read this with the tune of Tom Waits’s ‘jockey full of bourbon’ in my mind. This poem would make such a great song!
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Thank you Sue. Actually I was aiming for a little more musicality as my poems are usually more visual so I succeeded then!
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You so very did! I’m so glad I noticed…
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Thank you again. You did notice!
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