Now that I am fragile,
Now that the days weigh
Upon an already heavy heart,
Now that nights are infinite
With accumulated dread,
Now that I am falling,
Now that I need you
Can you forgive?
I have accrued sins,
There have been omissions,
Mortality is approaching
With an annihilating vision
That never assuages only
Magnifies the complicity,
A burden of guilt
Vaster than death:
Now that it’s too late,
(For it’s always
Later than we think)
For me to change;
Can you forgive,
Now that I need you?
A heart-felt plea, but perhaps the only forgiveness we need is our own, along with an acceptance of who we really are.
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Is it a heart-felt plea or is it a cynical ploy by the narrator, who isn’t prepared to change and caused some form of damage probably but is now fragile (or so they say)? Sorry Chris, perhaps I am too given to ambiguity and irony?
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Excellent response! No apology needed – I love a bit of ambiguity!
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Thanks Chris… I will try to keep it mysterious.
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‘Now that I need you’ is the clue isn’t it? And it’s always later than we think. So the narrator is really just thinking about himself and his own loss not really the damage done to his subject. So it goes in life with a narcissist. It’s an excellent poem, Mr Cake.
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Mustn’t be too hard on narcissists though, they have feelings as well. I deliberately avoided the baroque in this one, but irony and ambiguity are ever present I am afraid when it comes to words. Thank you very much.
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Oh I disagree. Truly narcissistic people have feelings for themselves. While we all have some element of self service in our thinking and behavior, a relationship with a narcissist is a living hell.
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Ambiguity and irony.
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Yes, of course.
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I can be a tricky customer.
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Undoubtedly
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