Be True

Man Ray-Observatory Time 1936
Man Ray-Observatory Time 1936

Coming down
Calm it, calming
Coming down
Calming, calm it.

-Talk to me

-I wish I could talk—
But easier said;
A few issues remain unresolved,
In fact permanently outstanding.

I have always been afflicted,
If Memory serves,
(Not me though,
Bitch is thoroughly self-serving
With her insidious insinuations,
Rosey sepia’d projections,
Doctored newreels,
Whispering re-writes,
Flat-out brazen taunting,
Wince inducing comparisons;
The future ain’t what it used to be
But was the past so very hot?)
By a stuttering reluctance
To showtell, that would be an act,
Stripping myself bare to tease,
Besides what if there is nothing
Beneath to reveal, could I stand
The disappointment turning
To anger and then inevitably,
As night turns to day, to hatred?
So I crouched my sentences
In an invented, inverted argot
Of my own twisted devising,
A cunning linguistic cant
Impenetrable and dense
Filled with allusions, elisions,
Strewn with the slang and jargon
Of restless haunted journeys;
The most I could hope for
Was an odd sensation of frisson,
The occasional moment of fusion,
Before the dissolution of an imagined unity;
Fracturing, splintering, fragmenting,
Sending me back into my private
Realm where I can babble away,
In my nonesuch nonsense language,
Or just remain silent if I wished,
(and therefore, be true?)

Zaum de dum dada
Voynich Seraphinianus

12 thoughts on “Be True

  1. When disappointment turns to anger… I know the feeling. And (if this is what you mean) the not quite fitting in, being understood, or taken seriously. What is the significance of the last couple lines? Very enigmatic. Anyway, excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No I didn’t say that, only that we cannot grasp the bigger picture and what seem trivial is in fact of earth shattering importance. But that doesn’t render our efforts null and void.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. But what I mean is that if little actions are of great importance but we aren’t aware of which ones are, or which way to act, then being concerned about them is pointless. Just carry on and hope that you don’t put a foot wrong. You have be aware of those things ahead of time. Or else you might just lock yourself away in fear of doing anything that might have catastrophic consequences. It makes decision making painful! … Perhaps I am looking at this from the completely wrong direction.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Moving revelations Mr. C, though I can’t pretend to understand all, there is a “read between the lines” that is helpful in illuminating this.. The painting by Man Ray of his lover’s lips is also revealing. Brilliantly written, the painting is a wonderful choice for this work.

    Liked by 1 person

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