
I have chosen for the third in the series of Surrealist short stories a deliciously macabre tale by the wonderful English artist, writer and eccentric Leonora Carrington, who was also the subject of Max Ernst’s masterpiece, The Robing of the Bride.
In a reversal of a classic fairy tale theme, The Debutante tells of the lengths our heroine is prepared to go to in order to not attend a ball.
The Debutante
WHEN I was a debutante I often went to the zoo. I went so often that I knew the animals better than I knew girls of my own age. Indeed, it was in order to get away from people that I found myself each day at the zoo. The animal I got to know best was a young hyena. She knew me too. She was extremely intelligent, I taught her French and she, in return, taught me her language. In this way we passed many pleasant hours.
My mother was arranging a ball in my honour on the first of May. During this time I was in great distress for whole nights. I’ve always detested balls, especially when they are given in my honour.
On the morning of the first of May, 1934, very early, I went to visit the hyena.
“What a bloody nuisance,” I told her. “I’ve got to go to my ball tonight.”
“You’re very lucky,” she said. “I would love to go. I do not know how to dance, but at least I could make small talk.”
“There’ll be a great many different things to eat,” I told her. “I’ve seen truckloads of food delivered to our house.”
“And you complain!” replied the hyena, disgusted. “Just think of me, I eat once a day, and you can’t imagine what a heap of bloody rubbish I’m given!”
I had a audacious idea, and I almost laughed. “All you have to do is to go instead of me!”
“We do not resemble each other enough, otherwise I’d gladly go,” said the hyena, rather sadly.
“Listen,” I said. “No one sees too well in the evening light. If you disguise yourself, no one will notice you in the crowd. Besides, we are practically the same size. You are my only friend, I beg you to do this for me.”
She thought this over, and I knew that she really wanted to accept.
“Done,” she said all of a sudden.
There weren’t many keepers about, it was so early in the morning. Quickly I opened the cage and in a moment we were in the street. I hailed a taxi; at home, everyone was still in bed. In my room, I brought out the dress I was to wear that evening. It was a little long, and the hyena found it difficult to walk in my high-heeled shoes. I found some gloves to hide her hands which were too hairy to look like mine. By the time the sun was shining into my room, she was able to make her way around the room several times—walking more or less upright. We were so busy that my mother almost opened the door to say good morning before the hyena had hidden under my bed.
“There’s a bad smell in your room,” said my mother, opening the window. “You must have a scented bath before tonight, with my new bath salts.”
“Certainly,” I said.
She did not stay long. I believe the smell was too strong for her.
“Don’t be late for breakfast,” she said and left the room.
The greatest difficulty was to find a way of disguising the hyena’s face. We spent hours and hours looking for a way, but she always rejected my suggestions. At last she said, “I think I’ve found a solution. Have you got a maid?”
“Yes,” I said, puzzled.
“There you are then. Ring for your maid, and when she comes in we’ll pounce upon her and tear off her face. I’ll wear her face this evening instead of mine.”
“That’s not practical,” I said to her. “She will probably die if she hasn’t got a face. Someone will surely find the corpse and we’ll go to prison.”
“I am hungry enough to eat her,” the hyena replied.
“And the bones?”
“As well,” she said. “So, its on?”
“Only if you promise to kill her before tearing off her face. It’ll hurt her too much otherwise.”
“All right. It’s all the same to me.”
Not without a certain amount of nervousness I rang for Mary, my maid. I certainly wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t hate having to go to a ball so much. When Mary came in I turned to the wall so as not to see. I must admit that it didn’t take long. A brief cry, and it was over. While the hyena was eating, I looked out the window. A few minutes later, she said, “I can’t eat anymore. Her two feet are left over still, but if you have a little bag, I’ll eat them later in the day.”
“You’ll find in the wardrobe a bag embroidered with fleurs de lys in the cupboard. Empty out the handkerchiefs you’ll find inside, and take it.” She did as I suggested. Then she said: “Turn around now and look how beautiful I am.”
In front of the mirror, the hyena was admiring herself in Mary’s face. She had nibbled very neatly all around the face so that what was left was exactly what was needed.
“You’ve certainly done that very well,” I said.
Toward evening, when the hyena was all dressed up, she declared: “I really feel in tip-top form. I have the feeling that I shall be a great success this evening.”
When we had heard the music from downstairs for quite some time, I said to her, “Go on down now, and remember, don’t stand next to my mother. She’s bound to realise that it isn’t me. Apart from her I don’t know anybody. Best of luck.” I kissed her as I left her, but she did smell very strong.
Night fell. Tired by the day’s emotions, I took a book and sat down by the open window, giving myself up to peace and quiet. I remember that I was reading Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift. About an hour later, I noticed the first signs of trouble. A bat flew in at the window, uttering little cries. I am terribly afraid of bats, I hid behind a chair, my teeth chattering. I had hardly gone down on my knees when the sound of beating wings was overcome by a great noise at my door. My mother entered, pale with rage.
“We’d just sat down at table,” she said, “when that thing sitting in your place got up and shouted, ‘So I smell a bit strong, what? Well, I don’t eat cakes.’ Whereupon it tore off its face and ate it. And with one great bound, disappeared through the window.”
Leonora Carrington-1939
Translation: Marina Warner & Katherine Talbot
Oh my God I’ve been wanting to read this! I love White Rabbits (I think that’s what it’s called?) And The Hearing Trumpet
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Carrington was amazing…quite something and this is a brilliant story.
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If I can be like a cross between her and Dorothy Parker I’ll be happy
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That would be a very feisty lady Madeleine.
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This is a great piece of surrealist writing – I do enjoy Carrington’s work.
Funnily enough I’ve recently read ‘The Bolds’ to a class of children which is a comic, and somewhat surreal, story by Julian Clary, which has a similar theme (hyenas impersonating humans, that is). The children loved it, but, reading between the lines, it does comment on how we operate as a society.
Anyway, thanks for sharing this.
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It is a great story… although I like her artwork I think she was a better writer… this is a great story that is so very clever and funny… the tone is just right
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Best story ever.
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It is a great story…. wish I had written it. Very enjoyable and very clever
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Now I just want to read stories all day.
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I do think short stories get short shift…I love novels but it shouldn’t be the only form of fiction…have you read the other two surrealist stories? I would recommend them obviously
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I agree, short stories no longer get the credit they deserve. I have read the other two. I like The Debutante best.
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Well I hope you think I have good taste anyway. Of course they are my short stories as well if you are in the mood for stories.
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You do have good taste! And I love your short stories. I’m not great at writing short stories. I wonder why???
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Because you are a novelist… want to trade?
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Hahahaha! Good one, you cheeky monkey.
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I get so easily distracted unfortunately. Hopefully I will finish my novel one day, till then just short posts, stories and poems about whatever gets my attention for five minutes. You are lucky Kindra to be able to write novels.
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Yes, I won’t deny that. Writing novels is tough, but I can do it, and I’m glad because it what I’ve always wanted to do with my life.
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And that is wonderful…have you ever read my cat story?
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Yes. I like that one very much.
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I am running out of material… will have to write so more.
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I used to bank up poems and what not. I ain’t got shit saved now, lol
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Well the lightening will strike again Kindra don’t you worry
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😁
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I am always cheeky.
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🐒
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He is cute
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Reblogged this on Three Rivers.
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Thank you
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I’ve long been a fan of Leonora Carrington! Such talent!
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Absolutely, strong minded and determined to go her own way always.
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Loved it! What lengths to go to avoid a ball!
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This is an excellent barbed pitch black comedy:
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I enjoy short fiction – great for a read when you don’t want to commit to anything of significant length. I think they are regaining popularity recently
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Hopefully… well more to follow shortly.
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that’s brilliant haha 😀
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It’s a great story isn’t it.
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Proper ace
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Thanks
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A fable meriting the highest praise. Most entertaining though I find no moral…there doesn’t need to be one.
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I am very fond of Leonora Carrington. She has taken a lesson from Alice and spared us the moral, thank God.
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Thank God indeed, I absolutely love this. Such a vivid imagination Leonora was working with, I will have to find more of your writings.
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Her novel The Hearing Trumpet is excellent and is her asylum memoir Down Below.
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I will find them. Looking forward to reading more of her.
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Her short stories are a delight, Lewis Carroll is obviously an influence, but all the Surrealists loved Alice in Wonderland.
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This is a good one. We forget the theories of the Absurd to our peril, even when we are living them on a daily basis!!! Thank you.
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My pleasure thank you Roger. Always great to see you, you have missed my avant garde poetry stage.
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I have missed so much. Still here though in spite of everything. I’ll e-mail separately. Lots happening.
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I am glad… I look forward to hearing from you Roger.
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Oh my God, what a great story
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Isn’t it just!
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